I cried my first tears about leaving the other night while I was laying in bed thinking about my family. I'm going to miss them, even though they think I won't. I'm going to miss seeing my little brother grow taller, laugh as his voice starts to crack, and roll my eyes as he does all those weird things 11 year olds do. I'm going to miss going to see my mama at work. I'm going to miss hi-fiving my daddy. I'm going to miss listening to the silence on the othe end of the line as my sister tells me all about her day in 3 word sentences. I'm going to miss my friends. I'm going to miss my bed. I'm going to miss these mountains, this lake, this incredible view.
But, as much as I'm going to miss it all, I'm more excited about this next adventure. Sure I'll miss everyone and everything, but the excitement overwhelms the sadness, in a way that I'm so thankful for. If I didn't have such an independent spirit, I would absolutely be freaking out right now. But thankfully, God didn't make me afraid of things. He made me in the exact way that he planned, exactly for moments like these, where I can be excited for change instead of dreading it. I am so thankful for a God who knows me better than I can even begin to understand. So thankful for the love of the Savior who choses to go before me so that I know I'll be ok, because I'm always safe in his hands. And oh how that thought calms my anxious mind.
So yes, I will miss my home. But God knows me, planned out my life for me, has everything under control. So who am I to dwell on sadness, when I can be excited that the God of the Universe has every single step under control?
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